The Dark Xeron Campaign
by Kfc21
Summary: It is a story of a man and his...um...uh...unique team.They go through many humorous missions.Starting with the normal let's enter the base kind of mission to the let's guide the tourists into battle kind of mission.Tell your ideas for chapters to come.
1. Operation Fuzzy

Dark Xeron Campaign  
  
Operation Fuzzy It was his first mission he had since last year. He felt a little nervous as he sat in the helicopter on his way to the landing zone where he would start his mission. Once they landed he gripped his gun and jumped out. When the helicopter took off he ran to the hills where he could see the Soviet base. He saw that the base was well defended in the front but found an unguarded cliff near the roof of the structure where he could probably climb down undetected  
  
Once at the top of the cliff, Dark Xeron looked over the edge to see the best way he could get down. Taking a step closer to see the whole base Dark Xeron tripped on a rock and fell off the cliff. He crashed and fell calling for help and screaming like a little girl until he landed on the roof of the enemy base. He got up and brushed himself off and picked his gun up. Just as he was getting ready to start his mission the alarm to the base went off.  
  
"Crap!!" he said to himself.  
  
Just then several guards began to run up the stairs to the top of the roof. He got himself ready for an attack. But just as soon as they started to appear at the top of the stairs the first guard tripped and fell taking the rest of them with him.  
  
"That was very interesting." he said as he carefully walked down the stairs.  
  
Taking a closer look at one of the near dead guards he found that they weren't Soviets at all. Their uniforms were different and they had a patch on the side of their arm with the face of a dog.  
  
"Very strange, I thought he told me that this was a Soviet base."  
  
"No, I didn't," a voice from behind said. He turned around to see his friend and leader Kfc21.  
  
"Why are you here?" Dark Xeron asked.  
  
"Nothing really, just seeing what your up to," he told him.  
  
"Just seeing what I'm up to? But..huh..why do you always do that? How the heck did you get here?"  
  
"I took the back stairs."  
  
"Back stairs? What? Ok never mind that. I thought you said that this was a Soviet base?"  
  
"No I didn't I said it was a base that is helping keep plans for the Soviets. Actually I have no idea who it belongs to, all we care is that you get the Soviet plans that are being stored here. Well, I will be leaving now. Just remember to report in after your ready."  
  
He turned to see if any of the guards were waking up and then looked back at Kfc21 but found him gone.  
  
"Why does he always do that?" he said as he continued his mission.  
  
He managed to get down into the halls of the base, sneaking by every guard he could. Finally he reached the lab where the plans were thought to be held.  
  
"Hey you!" yelled out a man.  
  
"Wha..?" He said turning around.  
  
Just then a fist came out and punched him in the jaw. He fell back onto a computer terminal hitting a button by accident. When the he was about to fight back the man jump up in pain.  
  
"Oooooooooooowwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled in pain.  
  
"Huh?" Dark Xeron said in reply to this weird incident. Looking around to see what caused this he saw a border collie hanging on the end of the man's pants. Taking his chance Dark Xeron grabbed the end of his gun and knocked the man unconscious. The dog walked up to him and licked his hand.  
  
"Why thank you boy," Dark Xeron said petting the dog on his head, "why don't you come with me."  
  
He then began to look around the lab trying to find where the plans were kept. But after about a half an hour he gave up and sat on the floor. Looking up he saw three large glass tubes. One was open but two held what appeared to be a cat and what seemed to be a metal fish. Looking closer he saw labels under each glass tube. Under the empty one it said intelligence enhanced dog, under the cat Psychic Cat, and under the fish was prototype robotic fish. He wondered if the dog next to him had come from in the empty tube. He looked down at it and found it reading a magazine that fell on the floor.  
  
"Yup he is," he said to himself, "hey dog do you know where the plans are?"  
  
The dog looked up and shook his head.  
  
"Why don't you ask the fish," a familiar voice said.  
  
He turned around to see Kfc21 again  
  
"How the heck did you get in here?"  
  
"The back door."  
  
"There's a back door? Wait no never mind that. What do you mean ask the fish?"  
  
"I mean that the fish has a small computer in it so it might have a record of where the plans may be kept."  
  
"How do you know all of this?"  
  
"The fish is a robot isn't it and robots have computers and it seems to be a very important robot fish thingy."  
  
"Well, I guess I'll try it," he said looking down at the robotic fish. He then turned around to again find Kfc21 gone.  
  
Getting back to business Dark Xeron opened the tubes containing the cat and fish. The cat gladly jumped up onto his shoulder but the fish just laid there. He leaned down to look at it when it suddenly jumped up and hit him in the face. Screaming in pain Dark Xeron backed to get out of the way. It was quietly floating in the air making a small humming noise.  
  
"Do you know where the Soviet plans are?" he asked still rubbing his head.  
  
A moment later the fish darted out of the room. Dark Xeron closely followed behind, while also being followed by the cat and dog. The fish then made a quick stop and he nearly ran into it, but looking to see why it stopped he saw several soldiers coming down the hall at him. He quickly ducked behind the wall before the guns started shooting. A moment later the cat next to him was no where in site. But oddly the noise of gun fire stopped and he could hear men screaming and yelling in. He peaked around the corner to see several dead soldiers some with small steaming holes in them and the cat sitting in front cleaning himself.  
  
He looked over at the dog, "hey dog did you see that?"  
  
"See what?" that dog replied to his surprise.  
  
"Aaahhhh!! You can talk!"  
  
"Yes, you have a problem with that?"  
  
"No, it's just that.well.never mind let's just fallow the fish."  
  
They all ran after the fish following it to where ever it went. They stopped every once and a while to fight off a few soldiers but finally managed to get to where they needed to go. There was a small door in front of them. He carefully opened it and looked inside but found it pitch black and could hardly see. He took a step in to try and find a light switch. He took another step forward and fell. The sound of him falling and screaming could be heard far down the halls. The light then came on and Dark Xeron could see the two animals sitting on the top of a staircase looking down on him.  
  
"There was a light switch up here," the dog said.  
  
"Thanks for telling me."  
  
"Your welcome."  
  
Dark Xeron picked himself up and took a look around the room for the fish. He could see a large wall filled up with a row of different computers. He managed to spot the robot fish floating over a computer. The fish hooked himself into a slot on it and began to do what seemed to be downloading.  
  
"It's downloading the plans just to tell you," the dog said to him as he walked up with the cat.  
  
"I can see that."  
  
"I was just making sure. You did fall down those stairs you know."  
  
"Wait a minute. How in this world can you talk in the first place?"  
  
"I don't know I guess I just always could. At least as far back as I can remember."  
  
At last the fish was done and they could finally get out. Dark Xeron quickly looked around the room and found a ladder leading up to the rooftop. He climbed up it and opened the hatch above to take a peek. He could see several guards on the roof. Quickly thinking a picked up the cat and put it onto the roof.  
  
"Hey kitty kitty. Oohhhhh look at the little kitty," one guard started to say, "what is your.....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...."  
  
Only a few minutes later the roof was cleared. They scrambled up the ladder. When Dark Xeron thought he was at last home free he could not find a way off safely. Turning around he saw the cat lift off the ground and float over to the safety of a cliff. Then the dog began to talk with the fish. He then jumped up on Dark Xeron's back and the fish then latched cuffs around his hands.  
  
"What the heck are you doing!?" Dark Xeron asked.  
  
"Relax and just let the fish do his work," the dog yelled at him.  
  
The fish then lifted him off the ground and headed off toward the cliff where the cat waited. Soon gun fire came out at them. The fish then started flying at almost the speed of sound. Dark Xeron hands burned with pain and felt the nails of the dog digging ever deeper into his back. He was relieved when the horrible ride was over and he was safely on the cliff. He, the dog, the cat, and the fish walked about a mile away from the base when they came across a helicopter sitting ready on the ground ready to take him. A familiar figure then jumped out and walked over to him.  
  
"Good job Dark Xeron," Kfc21 said to him, "I see you have a few new friends. I assume you have the plans."  
  
"Ah yep, there right here in this robotic fish."  
  
"Good, let's get back to the Allied base so we can find out what is in those plans and so you can take a quick break before your next mission."  
  
The helicopter took off and flew toward the direction of the Allied base where Dark Xeron would receive his next mission. To Be Continued.. 


	2. Operation Cows of War

"Dark Xeron Campaign" Operation Cows of War  
  
Dark Xeron sat in his seat on the plane and thought about the mission he was about to take part in. Looking around he could see the dog and cat he found in an earlier, sleeping on the planes floor. Then he looked over at the small group of men that he was given to help him in his mission. He saw one of the men staring at him. He looked kind of small, he didn't really seem very strong. Wondering why the man was staring at him he decided to ask him a question.  
"What are you staring at?" he asked him.  
"Oh nothing sir, I was just thinking about the mission. This is my first one you know. Kfc21 is a great leader and everything, but it just seems that he makes some weird decisions. Like choosing me, I have know idea why," the man explained to him.  
"What's your name?"  
"Well, it's.um.Matthew, But every one calls me RSEagle."  
I'll tell you what. For now on I'll call you RSEagle, unless you would like me to keep to your other name."  
"No really, it's ok, you can call me that."  
"All right, RSEagle it is."  
After his short conversation with RSEagle he felt like taking a little rest before they arrived. He was about to fall asleep when he was asked a question.  
"Ah sir, if you don't mind me asking, but why are you bringing your pets along?"  
"Because RSEagle, these animals helped me out in a mission I was in. From then on I decided to take them with me on all my missions."  
"Oh ok, but what makes them so special?"  
"You will find out sooner or later."  
"Ok sir, sorry for disturbing you."  
A few hours later Dark Xeron was woken up by the sound of people talking. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Looking around he saw his men and pets getting ready to jump out of the airplane. Just then someone sat down next to him and tapped him on the shoulder.  
Looking to his side he saw Kfc21, "what are you doing here?"  
"I was on the plane from the beginning"  
"You were?"  
"Um yes.I was, you didn't know that?"  
"Well, I guess not. What do you want anyway?"  
"It's time to start your mission."  
A few minutes later everyone had gotten their things together and were ready to make the jump. The first to jump were the three soldier he was in charge of, followed by the dog and cat. It was now Dark Xeron's turn. He stared down at the ground far bellow. Without knowing Kfc21 pushed him out of the plane yelling "good luck". He saw the others pull open their parachutes and begin to float down toward the ground. When it was time for him to pull open his, he a reached for the cord and pulled, but it failed. He then pulled the emergency one, but that failed too. He then began to scream like a little girl again. Then he remembered something Kfc21 said. "Why don't you try the fish" he heard himself saying. With this he reached for the robot fish he had strapped to his side. Managing to get it off his belt he told it to float. But nothing happened, he tried again and again, still nothing happened. He closed his eyes and waited to die. A little later he was still alive. He opened his eyes and found himself floating two feet off the round. He didn't realize it but he was still holding onto the fish.  
"You just going to float there all day?"  
"Wha..?" He said looking up and saw the dog was looking at him. "Oh no I was just.um.never mind.  
"Good let's just get to the mission."  
"Where are we anyway"  
"Do you ever listen to the briefings."  
"Yes!"  
"Ok then, now just get down from there and lets go."  
After traveling for a little while through a patch of trees they could finally see the base they needed to get to. But there was one problem, a field of cows were blocking their way.  
"I'm not going out there," one soldier said.  
"And why not?!" Dark Xeron said.  
"There's cow poop out there."  
"Cow poop.cow poop.YOUR WORRIED ABOUT COW POOP!!!!!!!"  
"Um yes, I like to keep my shoes clean and tidy."  
"Come here, what's your name again?"  
"Uh, Jerry sir"  
"Well Jerry, you know what I say?"  
"What sir?"  
"YOUR GOING TO STEP IN COW POOP AND LIKE IT!!!!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Yes sir.(sniff)"  
"Good, now let's go."  
They snuck around each cow trying not to get caught by anyone. But this soon failed when a farmer warring an extremely large hat that covered his face with its shadow came down the field with a cow.  
"Get ready to do something," Dark Xeron whispered.  
As the farmer approached he called out at them, "hey guys hows the progress?"  
"Who is this guy? Hey farmer what are you doing, why are you here?!"  
"Just checking up on you guys."  
"Checking up on us? Wait a minute," he walked over to the farmer and pulled off his hat.  
"Commander, what are you doing here?" RSEagle asked.  
"Well, I am here to give you all..drum roll please..COW COSTUMES!!!" Kfc21 announced to all of them.  
"...................what?" someone finally asked.  
"I have the costumes here so you can sneak in..like cows."  
"All right sir.we'll make good use of these."  
"Good, I think you'll need them.  
Kfc21 then put back on his hat and walked off. The rest of the group put on the cow costumes but left the dog out to make it seem like he was herding them. They all managed to get up to the entrance of the base where a few guards were standing. They then got up to the door and a guard opened the it.  
"Bark bark, I'm herding cows, bark bark," the dog said as he passed the guards.  
"Aaahh good doggy, look at him bring those cows in for us," the guard said.  
They got all the way into the base when they felt a rush of cold air and then followed by the thud of a door and complete darkness. This was followed by the complaining of one soldier. "It feels cold in here, and I can't see anything, can we take this cow costume off."  
"Shut up! Darn, I knew I should have taken the right door. It's just that I like big shiny metal doors.he he," Dark Xeron said.  
"Wait how do we get out of here?" RSEagle asked.  
"That's a good question. Maybe the fish can do something," the dog answered.  
"Well then let me see here. Oh got it! Ok fish get us out of here," Dark Xeron said as he held the fish up.  
The fish floated over the door, even though no one could see where it was. But there soon was a faint amount of light coming from a laser shooting out of the fish. It then began to melt the door hinges. With a loud thud the large steel door fell to the ground.  
"Yeah, we're free! Can we take these cow costumes off now?" a soldier said.  
"Um I guess, Kfc21 didn't say how long we needed them, but give them to me and I'll put them in my pack," said Dark Xeron. "To the other door we go!"  
Dark Xeron's group traveled on down several halls, only running into the occasional cow, until they made it to a dead end. It was a room containing three other doors. "All right which door is it, door #1, door #2, or door #3."  
"I was never good at multiple choice, um.I guess..hhhmmmm.#2!"  
"Ok #2 it is!"  
They all scrambled through the middle door and ran down another hall. But there was one problem, someone was coming their way. (What happened next is something that I the writer didn't expect Dark Xeron to do). He ran strait toward who ever was coming. Then expecting to tackle a man he instead tripped over a dog. As he laid on the floor he looked back to see a large husky baring its teeth and growling at him. With a quick scream he got up and ran for his life, the dog then followed closely behind him. After a small pause to get themselves back together Dark Xeron's men then too ran after him. They followed him down many twists and turns and went from room to room.  
Why was the dog following him? Did it want something, or maybe it's because he tripped over it? He had no idea and kept thinking this until the cow costume he had with him started to fall out of his pack.  
That was it! If he could just get on the cow costume maybe the dog would run by thinking he was nothing but a small skinny lumpy cow. He quickly turned the next corner but it only gave him a few seconds to put the costume on. He put it on as fast as he could, this didn't help much because now he looked like a misshapen cow. But somehow it still worked, the dog ran by him without even glancing his way. With over he began to take off the cow costume, as put it in his pack a voice popped into his head saying "I will find you", this gave him the creeps.  
Just then RSEagle came up to him, he was still trying to catch his breathe, "Hey Dark Xeron.why.was.that dog.chasing.you?"  
"Oh nothing to worry about, I guess he was angry that I tripped over him," Dark Xeron quickly replied trying to forget that voice he heard in his head.  
In a few seconds they were all back together and traveling through the base. Then they realized they had a problem. What was their mission to begin with? They had been walking through out endless hallways, passing and looking in many doors, but they didn't know what they were doing there.  
"Ok this is stupid, why are we here anyway?" said the dog.  
"You know that is a good question, I can't remember what Kfc21 said, maybe it was..hhhmmm.Hey look it's a big shiny door!" Dark Xeron said as he noticed a large metal door at what seemed to be the end of the hallway. "Let's see what's in it."  
"No Dark Xeron no! Don't go in there..," it was too late. Dark Xeron went inside and somehow got all of them in there with him. The door then locked behind them, they were now trapped in a small room again, except for the fact that it was warmer and had lighting.  
"You did it again you cheese head! Where is that fish of yours?!" the dog yelled at him. He then quickly bit Dark Xeron on the hand.  
"OW! What was that for? Wait, don't answer that. Hold on I'll get the fish out." But before he could the room began to fill with gas.  
"Aaahhh smoke! I don't like smoke.and...I..um..zzzzzzzz......" One of the soldiers said before they all blanked out.  
  
Dark Xeron woke to a sharp pain in his head, one that felt like a brick landed on him. Opening his eyes he could see something hairy staring at him, he then could smell the sent of a dog's breathe. He rubbed his eyes to see a border collie looking right in his eyes.  
"Do you know how stupid you really are? We're now trapped in a prison cell with no way out, our weapons are missing, and the fish is somehow not able to work. What do you have to say now?" said the dog.  
"Um could you get your nose out of my face?" He replied still tired.  
"How are we going to get out of here?" asked RSEagle.  
"I have no idea. I guess I really screwed up this time, huh," said Dark Xeron.  
"Well I wouldn't say that, wait no your right," said the dog. Just then the bars opened to their cell.  
"What the heck just happened?"  
"I'm not sure. Or maybe, oh yes I see."  
"What was it?"  
"The cat used it's powers to open the lock. He just woke up I guess."  
"Well then why don't we just get out of here."  
"I don't see why we can't. Ok on we go!"  
They all scrambled out of the cell. Luckily there was no one around to see them. As they passed the door one of them spotted and M-16 laying against the wall. So he picked it hoping it could be of some use to them later. But that was a mistake for it caused the alarm to go. They all panicked and ran out of a near by door as fast as they could. They then found themselves standing on a runway outside the Soviet base.  
"How are we going to get out of this now?" said one soldier as he noticed a group of conscripts coming at them.  
"Well, we can't go that way so why don't we got this way. Oops not that way, tesla coils," said Dark Xeron just too noticing their situation.  
"Ok I want to know why this base is built they way it is. Endless hallways, prisons without guards and right next to an airstrip. This is stupid," said RSEagle.  
"Hey you there, use that gun to hold them off as we get in one of those tanks that stupidly parked over there," yelled Dark Xeron over to one of the soldiers. "Sure thing," the soldier replied.  
As one of the soldiers fired off his gun the rest of them jumped into a conveniently placed Soviet rhino tank. Once inside Dark Xeron looked around to find the controls.  
"Ah, I can't find the controls, where are they where are they?!" said Dark Xeron as he looked around.  
"There over here stupid, and if it's ok with you I'll do the driving," came the dog's voice from the tank's driving seat.  
"Um I guess you could. Do you even know how to?"  
"Yes I do, so can you please just shut up, you and the others man the gun and stuff."  
"Ok we'll do that."  
The tank roared to life and drove out onto the runway. With a few blasts from it's cannon they were able to chase the conscripts off. They drove up and picked up the one other soldier and continued down the runway. Just as they were going past the hangers filled with Soviet MiG fighters, they were attacked by aircraft above.  
"Hey dog, do you know how to fly one of those?" Dark Xeron said as he looked at one of the MiGs in the hangers.  
"Uh yes, why?" the dog said.  
"Well, could you quickly run to one of those over there and fly it. Then get rid of those other pesky planes."  
"Sure, I think I could do that, but who will drive the tank?"  
"Don't worry about that. Now after you do that, land the jet on that abandoned freeway in front of my house."  
"What?!"  
"Just do it please."  
"Fine, but you better not get me killed."  
"The cat will come with you too, just to give you some cover."  
"What is an abandoned freeway doing in front of your house anyway?"  
"Never mind that just go." The dog and the cat dragged themselves out of the tank's hatch. In a few minutes the MiG was out of it's hanger and up in the air. "Uh sir, how are we going to get back?" said RSEagle. "Don't worry, I just need to know if the fish is working now. If he is then we're all set. Then we can OOOWWWW! What was that?" Dark Xeron said as he turned to see the fish floating behind him. "Stop doing that whenever I ask for you!" "Um sir, how is a floating fish supposed to get us home?" "This little guy can carry as much wait as he wants and still travel at high speed." "...what?" "Never mind, just help me get some cables hooked to this tank and the fish." After everything was ready, Dark Xeron gave the signal and the tank lifted off the ground. In a few seconds the tank was moving at almost the speed of a jet. They zoomed away from the Soviet base and flew off toward a very angry commander.  
  
To Be Continued.. 


End file.
